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A couple of weeks ago, we enlisted the help of a bot (or two) to help us imagine the Nintendo news headlines of tomorrow. After all, AI is probably going to be the new frontier in journalism some day, and we might as well get on board early. However, the results were… mixed at best, with the bot predicting flooding in the Switch, a game called “Pokémon Zelda: Rogue Emails“, and a new Tingle sequel about space murders. Perhaps the technological revolution needs a bit more time in the oven.
Nevertheless, empowered by the things we’ve learned about AI by doing that article, we thought we’d give the bots another crack at it — only this time, they’ll be writing a game, instead.
We downloaded the transcripts of the first two Ace Attorney cases (The First Turnabout and Turnabout Sisters), uploaded them to the Botnik predictive keyboard (which works a lot like the predictive keyboard on your phone), and started building ourselves the most unpredictable Ace Attorney case yet.
Everything — from the title (“Turnabout No Lawyer“), to the image (which was generated by Neural Blender with the prompt “A Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney case called “Turnabout No Lawyer”), to the examination and testimony headings — was decided by the bot. The only thing we added was punctuation (the bot really doesn’t like putting full stops at the end of sentences).
So, for your enjoyment, here’s the script in all its nonsensical glory… and, at the end, a special surprise!
Turnabout No Lawyer
September 8
Law Judge: The victim’s name is Phoenix Wright. Phoenix was a terrible lawyer.
Phoenix: What was inside that man?
Judge Edgeworth: It appears that Mr Phoenix was quite empty.
Examination
Judge: Witness, please tell me more about this man.
Mia: Urp… Phoenix Wright was found in his dirty room. I saw him get a weapon from the shower.
Mia: Bwah sorry… I think I might be able to imagine a murder.
Mia: The man was standing right in front of the crime… He was standing over the victim’s finger.
Mia: The killer is the chief prosecutor… I saw him laugh at 9:00 pm.
Judge: Um… Hey… I think I feel a migraine coming on.
Phoenix: No way!
Court: (I can’t prove the murder took place in his dirty room!)
*whoosh*
Phoenix: Splendiferous evidence strongly suggests that the victim had recently dumped someone!
Witness: You know what happened?
Phoenix: The spiky heart of every man is ready to help me! Naughty Mr Phoenix.
Testimony
Maya: A bit of evidence: This is a piece of paper and it contains the victim’s name .
Maya: Look at it… And it will tell you what was inside that man!
Phoenix: …Maya… It is a piece of paper.
Examination
Maya: A man… Mr Phoenix… Phoenix Wright… I really hate that man.
Phoenix: Wait… What?
Maya: Your Honor sir… Tee hee… I killed him… I punched him in the afterlife…
Judge: This is getting ridiculous.
Phoenix: This is so much entertainment.
Maya: Phoenix Wright was a joke… He said he was going to explode! Yes sir!
Phoenix: No, I don’t think he did, Judge.
Maya: I just don’t want him to come back.
Judge: This case is done. I think it’s high time Phoenix Wright is…
Phoenix: Your Honor! Please tell me why you want justice!
Court: What
Judge: You are guilty.
Phoenix: …I really don’t like that.
But it wouldn’t be an Ace Attorney case without all the sound effects and OBJECTION!s, would it? Luckily for you, we spent several hours using objection.lol to recreate the court case as it would look in the actual game:
Step aside, Shu Takumi! The bots are coming for your job.
If you want to play around with the Botnik Ace Attorney scripts yourself, here’s the link to the keyboard. Note that, because it’s only the first two cases from the first two games, the word “clock” comes up… a lot. Have fun!
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