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For the last few weeks I’ve been focused on finishing up my latest book project, and to facilitate that, I’ve been trying to tune out the news.
Yet even my Fortress of Solitude is not proof against the madness that is modern reality.
What’s weird is that today’s headlines are yesterday’s punchlines. The other day I decided to unwind by re-watching Top Secret, which I hadn’t seen in a while. Naturally, I own a physical copy because one of its central gags is now ground for banishment from social media. Don’t remember the film? It was sort of a breakthrough movie for Val Kilmer and a zany send-up of not just spy movies, but Elvis musicals, the French Resistance and just about everything else the writers could think of.
Anyhow, the gag of which I speak is the introduction of the East German Women’s Olympic Team. At the time it was directed not just at East Germany, but all the all Communist bloc nations that went extreme lengths to “enhance” their athletes for the Olympics. The women were obviously dudes in drag, which was why it was funny.
In our present day, dudes in drag are now officially women and the dying mainstream media lionizes them as stunning and brave heroes when they beat biological women at sports. Again, a laugh line from long ago is now Not Funny.
Joey, Do You Like Movies About Gladiators?
Top Secret was the brainchild of many of the same people who came up with Airplane, which is also even funnier now than when it was made. This is not just because the jokes back then were shamelessly rude, but also because they are coming true.
One of the running gags in this film (and there are many) is Peter Graves’ Captain Over making grossly inappropriate remarks to a little boy who is touring the cockpit. When he asks the tyke if he’s ever seen a grown man naked, it’s supposed to be utterly outrageous, but now apparently that’s something that public school teachers want to do early and often. Disney is so disturbed by the possibility that grooming children might in any way be disturbed that they’ve announced they’ll turn Buzz Lightyear gay just to make sure everyone understands how important it is to get ’em while they’re young.
The Triumph of the Mindlessly Self-Righteous
Future generations who pick through the rubble of our civilization will ponder how people got so stupid so quickly. How did we go from “Consenting adults can do whatever they want in the bedroom,” to “Parents have no business knowing if teachers are grooming their elementary school children for gay sex.”
The thought process behind this – such as it is – flows entirely from woke self-righteousness. A generation has grown to adulthood who believe that they are the personification of goodness and light, and that explaining themselves is a waste of time. In place of God, they have raised up social media, which passes down the New Commandments and also deals swift judgement to the sinners and unbelievers. My term for it is “yard sign Calvinism,” for by their virtual signaling they shall be saved.
This is how we can find ourselves in a situation where people think its acceptable to sexualize children and it is perfectly acceptable to punish the parents who object.
Running Out of Road
When I’m not making devastatingly potent hot takes, I write books, some of which are about things that actually happened. One of the more obscure topics out there is the Spanish Civil War, and it’s relevant not only because I’d like to boost my sales through shameless self-promotion, but also because it’s the only example of a Western democracy disintegrating into civil war absent losing a major war. I guess I should add: so far.
What made that war happen was the left’s inability to take “yes” for an answer. It wasn’t enough for them to rig an election and then subvert their constitution, they had to start bashing heads and burning things, and the only people who got arrested were the victims who resisted. This is where Antifa cut its teeth and learned the subtle art of precisely calibrated street violence. It also the only time an actual Anarchist political party was part of a ruling government.
All of which is to say: there is a time when civil society reaches a point of no return and in every case, the people in charge had no idea where that point was – until they hit it.
I’m reasonably sure that perv teachers trying to get handsy with young children is a pretty significant point of departure. Ask yourself this simple question: Why is Disney putting far more effect and even social capital into an effort to defend this odious than its supposedly core mission of making watchable films?
It’s all fun to get worked up about the awfulness Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings, or why sequels suck these days, but this is several orders of magnitude more important. A society that can’t protect its own children is a society that won’t last much longer.
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