Donkey Kong 64’s Famous Rap Is Really Mean To Lanky Kong

Donkey Kong 64 is a classic and beloved platformer that features a weird rap song and way too many collectibles. While these days, all those pesky collectibles aren’t fondly remembered, the odd rap song found at the start of DK64 is a fan favorite. Sure it’s terrible, but in a loveable sort of way. However, as pointed out in a recent Joel Haver video, the “DK Rap” is oddly mean to one member of the crew: Lanky Kong.

YouTuber and filmmaker Joel Haver’s latest animated short reminded me about the “DK Rap’s” attacks against Lanky Kong. The video, animated similarly to other Haver classics, shows us how Lanky Kong reacted the first time they watched the classic rap song. (Spoilers: It doesn’t go great!)

I’ve listened to the “DK Rap” many times over the years, but I never quite connected the dots until this video. For a song that is mostly positive, it randomly just shits on Lanky Kong. Sure, it does boast about his ability to stretch his arms, but only after saying he has no style, no grace and that he also has a funny face. While the lyrics aren’t incredibly clever, they’re still painful.

Also, because I assume you are like me, here’s the original rap song in all its ‘90s glory. No need to go googling or searching YouTube. I’ll save you time. Here you go:

If you enjoyed this short “DK Rap” video from Joel Haver, I highly recommend you check out some of his other animated shorts. His RPG shorts are amazing. But perhaps my favorite is his video showcasing what happens after some random goons in an Uncharted-like action game do the impossible and kill the main character.

Meanwhile, I hope you are doing well today Lanky Kong. You…oh, wait, I’m reading your DK Wiki page and it turns out you basically don’t show up in games anymore and nobody really cares.

Well, sorry Lanky Kong. At least you got long arms?