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Call Of Duty: Vanguard will, sadly, fix dognados

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The primary function of ragdoll physics in video games, everyone knows, is to freak out and make people laugh. Everyone knows this. The technology was created explicitly to bring a subversive touch of merry mayhem to po-faced murdergames. Everyone knows this. But developers are wary of overdoing it or openly acknowledging this fact which everyone knows. This is why, sadly, Call Of Duty: Vanguard will indeed ‘fix’ the ‘bug’ which could make attack dogs turn into a giant maelstrom of limbs, teeth, and mashing meat noises, a phenomenom known as the ‘dognado’. Tragic.

Reflecting on the multiplayer open beta which wrapped up yesterday, developers Sledgehammer Games pressed their shared tongue into their collective cheek and laid out some key issues they had already fixed, or would soon:

  • Nerfing the sun
  • Cracking down on Red Star raves
  • Removing dognados
  • Tuning spawns to avoid Hotel Royal’s murder kitchen
  • Closing open mic lobbies in Search & Destroy

They noted they are “also taking a thorough pass at weapon balancing, audio mixing, and visibility.” But the main, monstrous part is removing chaotic ragdolling from the killstreak perk which calls in an AI-controlled attack dog to bite your enemies’ bums. Observe:

Also:

Furthermore:

A terrible loss.

As for the parts the devs ‘actually intended’ to make, our Ed thinks Call Of Duty: Vanguard’s multiplayer “feels like Modern Warfare with a lick of WW2 paint”. That lad’s keenly awaiting Vanguard’s refresh of Warzone, which will bring a new Pacific island map.

Remember remember, Vanguard launches the 5th of November.

Parent company Activision Blizzard are currently being sued by a California state department with allegations of workplace discrimination, harrassment, and retaliation. A group of employees have joined with a union to file charges of unfair labour practices too. And now the SEC are investigating.



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