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Dungeons & Dragons is a game commonly played with groups of friends, whether sitting around a physical table or playing over the internet. Being a regularly scheduled game based around common interests, it is a very easy social activity to do with a group, leading most people to know those they are playing with.
Nonetheless, playing with strangers is far from unheard of. Whether a player has started with a new group they’ve not played with before or are playing at a games store or a convention, there are times they might find themselves across the table from complete strangers. In that situation, there are some things to know to both improve the game and respect the other players.
10 Communication Is Important
Dungeons & Dragons is an activity that relies a lot on trust. Players trust each other and the Dungeon Master to work together to build a story; the DM is trusted to create a fair, balanced, and enjoyable scenario; the players are trusted to work with each other and the DM to engage with it in a fun fashion.
As such, with any group — but especially with strangers — it is important to be able to communicate clearly and calmly if there is a problem. Whether the table uses safety tools like ‘lines and veils’ or ‘X-cards,’ or simply expect people to speak up with their issues, players should know how to raise an issue — and recognize when other players are.
9 Games Work Best When Everyone Is Expecting The Same Thing
There are many ways of playing Dungeons & Dragons. Some people like comedic, Monty Python-esque romps where things are played for laughs. Others like their games to be like Game of Thrones with raw emotion and gritty action. Either way, each group has their own unique tastes.
Even if the game is literally a group of people meeting for the first time, there should be some discussion as to what sort of game the DM wants to run and the players want to play to ensure everyone is on the same page. Aside from aiding comfort, it prevents somebody trying to play a fight-loving Barbarian in an adventure of investigation and politics.
8 Power Levels Are Variable Between Tables
D&D can be played at a number of different power levels with some players liking to make hyper-optimized builds that can destroy a dragon in a single round and others preferring simpler or lower-power builds. Often, tables work out a rough power level that everyone in the group hangs around; nobody overshadows or holds back anyone else.
At a table of strangers, this is a riskier proposition. An optimized build might be oppressive or too much at a more casual table and a roleplay-heavy build without much mind for mechanics might be equally out-of-place in a more game-focused table. When in doubt, a single-classed character in an average archetype is likely to fit in almost anywhere.
7 Every Dungeon Master Is Different
Although no player at a D&D table is the most important, the Dungeon Master can often have the most significant impact on the overall play experience. Choosing and running the adventure and enforcing the rules, the Dungeon Master can completely change the feel of playing with how they choose to run things.
Some D&D players naturally fit better with certain DMs, but when playing with strangers, it is important to remember that the DM is unlikely to be exactly like ones players are more used to. They may enforce different house rules, encourage different styles of plays, or make different calls with ambiguous rules, and it’s polite to respect that — within reason.
6 People Are There To Play, Not Be Flirted With
To many players, it is obvious not to flirt with strangers over a Dungeons & Dragons game. However, some players — particularly women — have reported that during games with strangers, their characters are objectified, joked about crudely, or flirted with, with the flirting sometimes stretching out-of-character.
There is no problem with building up rapport or friendships, but many players have reported feeling uncomfortable with the attention they’ve received during games. Remember that people are there to play first and foremost and treat them with respect.
5 It Is Okay To Leave The Table
It can be easy to feel a sense of obligation to see an experience through even if it is unenjoyable. Nonetheless, in a game of Dungeons & Dragons, especially one with strangers, there is no shame in walking away from the table if things really aren’t working out.
Whether it is an issue with comfort, with communication, or simply finding the game unenjoyable, it is far better to leave rather than spend as long as four hours unhappy. Although it might not be a first solution, if things are truly not going well, leaving can sometimes be the best choice.
4 It Helps To Be Flexible
In a D&D game with a new group, players will often get at least some information about the game beforehand, but at a convention or at a games store it is entirely possible to join a new game entirely blind. With many styles of game abound, it is best to go into one not expecting or only being willing to engage with one style.
Often, it might be better to have several characters or character ideas in mind, and then choose one to play based on the adventure and others at the table. Alternatively, just being willing to try something different from the norm can go a long way towards making a harmonious game.
3 You Are One Part Of An Ensemble
One way in which the stories told in D&D differ from many stories is that they lack a single main character. They instead focus on the group as a whole, with each member getting equal spotlight. Nonetheless, during play, it is easy for one player to accidentally monopolize the story’s focus and begin to act like a main character.
This is possible both in games with friends and games with strangers, but is especially important to watch out for in the latter. Everyone should walk away from the game happy and satisfied and they may not if one person acts like the main character and upstages the others.
2 Many Roleplaying Styles Are Valid
At the D&D table, groups tend to form norms around how they roleplay, dictated by the preferences of their members. Some prefer minimal roleplay, instead preferring to focus on action and adventure. Others may speak as their characters and perform lengthy dialogues between each other without a single dice roll. Others may get equally in-character but speak in third person rather than first.
There are dozens of styles, and a player is likely to run into more than one at a table with strangers. Being open-minded and accepting of other styles will make the game much smoother — so long as other players aren’t harming anyone’s fun.
1 Not All Topics Are Suitable
When storytelling, and especially storytelling with close friends, it is easy for inhibitions to slip away. Players may, in the confines of a friendship group, roleplay in ways that involve lengthy bawdy jokes, or, conversely, deeply serious and traumatic events.
With strangers, this is a far riskier prospect. Everyone has their own particular triggers or limits that players might not know immediately, and even aside from that, people have their tastes and comfort levels to be mindful of. Particularly explicit, traumatic, or even comedic happenings may not sit right with everyone, and are best suited for friends, not strangers.
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