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10 Cartoon Villains James Bond Could Beat

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James Bond is a capable super-spy who has taken on and defeated a variety of diabolical and maniacal villains in his lifetime. From the stereotypical super genius to the egotistical CEO, Bond has stood toe to toe with some of the most depraved individuals in pop culture. But in a whimsical scenario where Bond is pitted against the most infamous of cartoon villains, who exactly would he be able to defeat?

RELATED: James Bond: The 5 Films Where He Kills The Most People (& 5 He Kills The Least)

Using his skills, resources, connections, and charm, Bond would be able to take on a handful of surprisingly popular cartoon villains. For the world’s greatest fictional spy, these animated villains would pose no real threat to him.


10 Mauler Twins (Invincible): They Don’t Have Experience Dealing With A Super-Spy

Mauler Twins getting ready to take on Invincible with Ray Gun from the Invincible series

The Mauler Twins are adversaries of Invincible, the titular hero of Amazon Prime Video’s Invincible. Contrary to their name, they aren’t technically twins but are instead clones of one another. Their greatest strength, besides their size, is their mind.

The Mauler Twins were built to take on superhero-level characters with massive strength and stamina, so they wouldn’t necessarily be apt to take on a super-spy. Bond would be a new type of opponent for them, and because of this Bond would be able to outsmart the twins with both his gadgets and his resourcefulness.

9 Mr. Burns (The Simpsons): Bond Would Use His Weaknesses Against Him

Mr. Burns in front of an electoral college map from the Simpsons

Mr. Burns from The Simpsons is very reminiscent of a Moore/Brosnan-era Bond villain. He’s rich and runs a questionable business with questionable tactics. He’s antagonistic and menacing, but not exactly competent. In other words, he has many personality flaws that Bond could take advantage of.

His avarice could easily be manipulated, most easily through money. Burns is also delusional at times, frequently losing touch with reality. Bond could trigger these episodes by simply pretending to be a villain. He is also very selfish and artificial so a threat to his old and frail life would be enough to make him cave.

8 Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe): Bond Took Out A Similar Evil Organization, And Its Head, Before

Cobra Commander with Xamot from the GI Joe Cartoon

Cobra Commander and his organization Cobra are very reminiscent of Blofeld and Spectre from the Bond series. They’re both terrorist organizations that operate globally. Further, both organizations are tiered and have many commanders under their founder/leader. Bond’s defeated Spectre many times before, so he would have little issue with Cobra.

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Bond knows how to corrupt an evil organization from the inside out, so he would likely take out the secondary leaders first, including Baroness, Destro, Zartan, and Doctor Mindbender. He would weaken the organization enough so that he could face Cobra Commander alone. Using his martial arts and gadgets, he would have no problem taking on the Cobra Commander.

7 Plankton (SpongeBob): Bond Would Humiliate Plankton At His Own Game

Happy Plankton talking to his wife and Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob SquarePants

Plankton, Mr. Krabs’ adversary from SpongeBob SquarePants, would pose no threat nor problem to Bond. As long as Bond could find some underwater breathing device, he would make quick work of Plankton. First, Bond is huge compared to him, so he could basically step on him or eat him. Second, Bond could embarrass him at his own game, and thereby defeat him non-physically.

Plankton’s life goal is to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula. Bond, being a spy, could easily steal the formula. Given how many times Plankton has tried to steal it, Plankton’s chagrin at Bond’s success would be so grand that even Mr. Krabs would feel sympathetic to him.

6 Queen Tyr’ahnee (Duck Dodgers): Bond Would Have Many Allies To Help Him Defeat The Martian Army And Its Queen

Queen Tyr'ahnee sitting on her throne on Mars in Duck Dodgers

The Duck Dodgers cartoon was really one huge James Bond parody, and a good one at that. Thus, Bond wouldn’t have any issues defeating a villain who’s a parody of one of his own. If Bond couldn’t somehow seduce Queen Tyr’ahnee, he would still have the resources and allies to take down the Martian army and its queen.

Bond is one of the many operatives employed by MI6, so he could enlist the aid of other 00 agents. On top of this, Bond is a close contact and friend of his American CIA counterpart Felix Leiter, so he would also have the resources of the CIA. Bond could take a literal army to Mars, and could therefore make quick work of Queen Tyr’ahnee and her resources.

5 Scarface And Ventriloquist (Batman: The Animated Series): Bond’s Dominant Personality Would Quickly Subdue The Ventriloquist

Scarface controlling Ventriloquist from the Batman Animated Series

Ventriloquist and Scarface are minor foes of Batman in both the comics and in the animated series. Ventriloquist, or Arnold Wesker, commits crimes and transmits his more violent personality through a dummy, Scarface.

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The unlikely pair work because they balance each other out, so to speak. Scarface is the violent and dominant part of Wesker’s personality while Ventriloquist is the submissive and quiet aspect of him. Take away Scarface and Wesker can’t function. Bond has a dominant and controlling personality. As long as Bond could separate the puppet from the puppeteer, Bond could use his dominance (i.e. telling him what to do and how to act) to control Wesker, thereby subduing Scarface.

4 Slade (Teen Titans): Bond Could Match Slade’s Fighting Skills

Slade, AKA Deathstroke, with a communication device from the Teen Titans cartoon

Bond is no hand-to-hand combat expert, but he can hold his own. One particularly deadly martial artist he could go toe to toe with, and defeat, is Slade from the Teen Titans animated series. According to his enemies at SMERSH, Bond is a proficient boxer who has good knowledge of Judo holds. Thus, he is by no means a novice fighter.

Slade would be a deadly villain, but Bond is resourceful. Bond knows how to fight to survive and would use his surroundings and resources to even out the playing field. If bad goes to worse, Bond could always use his superior firing skills.

3 Stewie Griffin (Family Guy): Q Could Supply Bond With Tech That Matches Stewie’s

Stewie Griffin screaming in bed from Family Guy

Despite technically being a baby, Stewie Griffin from Family Guy would still be a very deadly adversary to Bond. Stewie is a super genius who has created everything from body-switching machines to time machines.

Bond isn’t a technological genius but he knows someone who is. Q, the quartermaster for MI6, supplies Bond with some of the most high-tech and innovative gadgets for his missions. If he really wanted to, or was forced to, he could make Bond a time machine. Q could match every one of Stewie’s inventions. All Bond really has to do is protect Q and use his gadgets correctly.

2 Black Cat (1994 Animated Spider-Man Series): Bond Would Seduce Black Cat And Eventually Make Her An Ally

Black Cat on roof talking to Spider-Man from 1994 Animated Spiderman Series

Facing a sexy and elusive villain such as the Black Cat would be right up Bond’s alley. The Black Cat is usually depicted as an anti-hero, love interest, and occasional ally of Spider-Man, both in the 1994 animated series and in the comics. She’s attracted to Spider-Man, and vice versa, because he brings out her wild, adventurous, and carefree side.

RELATED: Spider-Man (1994 TV Series): 10 Ways It’s Still The Best Animated Version Of Spider-Man

Bond is no Spider-Man, but he does know how to seduce women. His charm, charisma, and machismo are compelling to a woman such as Felicia Hardy. He wouldn’t fight her and would simply seduce her, so much so that she becomes an eventual ally.

1 Dr. Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb): He Can’t Even Handle A Platypus

Doctor Doofenshmirtz laughing in front of big globe from Phineas and Ferb

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is the bumbling archenemy of Perry the Platypus, Phineas and Ferb’s pet platypus. Although he’s a brilliant scientist, his incompetence often gets the better of him. He wrecks all of his inventions and practices little to no discretion when talking to his enemies.

Perry the Platypus, also a super-spy, is great, but Bond is on a whole different level.  Bond wouldn’t even stay for the background lecture and would go straight to beating Doofenshmirtz up. Doofenshmirtz is kind of like a Moore Era Bond villain and so Bond wouldn’t even really need his resources to take on the dimwit.

NEXT: 10 Ways James Bond Would Work Better As A TV Show

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